What counts as “shared costs” for couples?

“Shared costs” sounds obvious until you try to write the list. The simplest, highest-trust approach is to include the household essentials (housing + core bills + a buffer), keep personal spending personal, and then choose a split rule that leaves both people with a healthy leftover.

Last updated: 2025-12-17

Built by Brandon

Methodology

Use the calculator to define shared costs

Opens the main calculator prefilled so you can decide what’s shared (including groceries) and see how it changes totals and leftovers.

No signup. Private. Links are shareable and can be reset anytime.

Use the calculator with these defaults Open the calculator

A clear shared-cost list (good default)

For UK couples buying a home together, a practical shared-cost list usually includes:

Mortgage payment (your main housing cost)
Council tax
Utilities (gas/electric/water, broadband)
Home insurance
Maintenance buffer (for irregular ownership costs)
Groceries (optional — depends on your system)

The goal isn’t perfection; it’s clarity. When the list is clear, the split becomes a calm system rather than a recurring negotiation.

Worked examples: groceries shared vs separate

These examples keep everything the same except the groceries toggle. Open a scenario to switch split mode and view stress tests.

Example 1: groceries included as shared costs

Total shared cost: £2,982 / month (groceries shared)

Leftovers (proportional): A £1,811 / B £1,207

Open this scenario in the calculator Should groceries be shared 50/50?

Example 2: groceries treated as personal spending

Total shared cost: £2,432 / month (groceries separate)

Leftovers (proportional): A £2,141 / B £1,427

Open this scenario in the calculator Should groceries be shared 50/50?

What to keep personal (to reduce friction)

A shared budget works best when it doesn’t absorb everything. A common rule is: shared costs cover the home and household essentials; personal budgets cover personal spending. That typically means keeping phones, commuting, subscriptions, clothes, hobbies, and gifts personal — unless you explicitly agree otherwise.

If you want to feel more “team” without micromanaging, agree a fixed “fun money” amount each and keep the rest shared. The right system is the one you can maintain calmly.

FAQ

Should groceries count as shared costs?

Often yes, because they’re a household essential — but it depends. If your diets/spending are very different, you might keep groceries separate or use a hybrid system.

Should personal subscriptions be shared?

Usually no. Keep personal spending personal (phones, subscriptions, commuting, hobbies) so the shared list stays clean and conflict-free.

Do we include a maintenance buffer?

It’s strongly recommended. Homeownership includes irregular costs; a buffer makes your plan realistic and reduces surprise stress.

Can we keep the list flexible?

Yes — but write down the rule. A clear list is what turns a split from “feelings” into a calm system.